The notion seems simple but you'd be amazed how many people miss this concept. A date is not watching tv, doing laundry, going to the grocery store, etc. These are all things that one does alone just as well as with another. These things are not dating, they are "hanging out".
Dating has a twofold purpose: to get to know a person and to woo a person. Hanging out is great to get to know a person, but I do not feel wooed running errands and watching TMZ.
I need thought. I need to feel at some point you took a few minutes, or maybe even seconds to think how I might enjoy something and then figured out a way and time to do such. And a date can be spontaneous.. Just not an afterthought.
And while I'm on the subject, let's be clear that what constitutes a date is not determined by the amount of money spent. A date can invoplve no spending, and a non-date can involve a substantial sum. We get so caught up in money and hype that we let it stand in for what's important. Like trust, adoration, honesty, kindness, and love...
2 comments:
i agree. even if there are candles on the table, the color me badd hit single playing in the background, and rose petals leading towards the bedroom, as long as TMZ is showing on the flatscreen, its NOT a date. and I wouldn't feel wooed, even if the set up was done by her at her place. TMZ is a deal breaker.
~ the goat herder
I am married and people in a marriage sometimes as well as outside seem to forget dating is extremely vital to any relationship. Dating is the fun and excitement that keeps your relationship interesting and refreshing in a marriage. Before marriage dating is used to nurture your relationship. Being married when my husband and I date I feel that "a date" is used to make one or the other feel special...loved... If you have not put thought in to the date or made the effort to "woo" the other person then no I agree it is not a date it is hanging out which is what I do with my children frequently and I never consider it dating!
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